Up down all around will I ever land on solid ground?

My life my life my life is so crazy it makes even me dizzy! I wake up every morning these days and I wonder ok so what will today bring. For most people that is the fun part of the day for a stability craving freak like me that is my daily kiss of death. For the last couple of years I have felt semi stable. Sure there are moments when life is chaotic but I deal. The past three weeks though WOW can we just say that after my vacation to New York my life has been in a downward spiral. I came back to find out that a person I trusted as a friend had betrayed me starting a chain of events that has rocked my life. In the end what it all boiled down to is that my life needed a change and so I decided to move to Dallas. If only making that decision was the end of it. I tried like crazy to get an apartment but was turned down at every pass. Let me just say never commit a felony in Texas if you know what is good for you! Sure I paid my time to the state but now I have to pay for one stupid mistake every time I want to get an apartment or a job or anything that requires a background check. I mean they will let me vote but not live in an apartment complex. I can take care of my three year old child, I can fly, I can leave the country, I can help determine who our next president will be BUT I can't have a decent job or live next door to you. FOR THE LOVE and they wonder why the recidivism rate in Texas is the highest in the country. So I can't find a place to live in Dallas but you know what it is ok. I know now that it was all for the good of my life. I am not supposed to go back to Dallas that is not where I need to be. I am now considering Vegas in the future but for now I am making a real effort to find a job in Odessa. That too is hard since this is the scene of my crime. Almost 14 years ago you think that people would forget it by now and give me a second chance but well I don't know that life works that way. I went to see the project RIO (re-integration of Offenders) guy today which was a good thing because he gave me a few helpful tools in attaining a job when you have a felony. The down side is I had to relive my crime. That is hard. I feel ashamed. I feel sad. My penance is to forever know that I was apart of a moment in time that hurt somebody. I deal and move on. So today was one of those days when I just wonder will I ever be okay? Will I ever wake up with enough money in my bank account, good health insurance, have a job I love, be at a place in life that is solid ground? Is there such a thing as solid ground or is this just what life is the moments that happen each day that we live. I ponder these thoughts Then my daughter walks in and says "what you bought me new...what me can have" with her little doll baby face covered in spaghetti and I think damn I am lucky! Who needs solid ground I have a life worth living and though it gets bumpy some days there are days when I wake up and get a kiss from an angel and all I can say is I'd live a 1000 days of misery to just wake up one more day to those piercing blue eyes, messy mass of curls and slightly pungent breath an inch from my barely awake face saying "gamornin mommy I love you" yeah those are the moments in life that make it all worth it! I guess I better go she wants a pink piece of cake that I bought her at wal-mart! So till next time...remember it is all what you make of it!

Representation of 50 was weak

Sunday night was supposed to be the hottest night in music and in all honesty it was not that hot. After 50 years you would think that Grammy’s would have been spectacular and though in my heart I would love to say it was I can not lie it was truly weak. However, there were moments of greatness in the show and even a moment I am calling my rewind moment. So Kanye West was hot his performance was totally out of this world and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The song he sang for his mother was moving if only it had moved him as much as us. I wish I could say the same of his acceptance speech. We all know that a few months back Kanye lost his Mother in a tragic medical mishap and let’s face it we all expected some tears from him when he accepted his award. OH how wrong we were he was cocky and in all honesty distasteful in his sheer thoughts of greatness. I would say his Mom was looking down from heaven thinking boy I raised you better then that. Come on Kanye you could have given us at least one tear. It took an old school country fool Vince Gill to put the ego inflated Kanye in his place. When Vince accepted his award he said “I just got an award presented to me by a Beatle. Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?” It was by far the most fabulous moment and thus my rewind moment. It was so good I had to see it again. There were other spectacular moments like Tina Turner and Beyonce. If only we could all move like that at age 68. Alicia Keys was amazing that girl can truly blow and when John Mayer came out it ROCKED. Another set of amazing voices was Josh Groban who performed with Andrea Bocelli. These are two men who when they open their mouths to sing you can feel it in your soul. I have to say though I was completely disappointed in the Kid Rock and Keely Smith song it was just weird. The same goes for Feist I liked her much better in her target commercial…how sad is that! Did you guys realize that the very first Rap Grammy went to Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff in 1988 for Parents just don’t understand…the irony of that is now they are the parents! So overall the Grammy’s left us wanting more for our three and a half hours of viewing but I will tell you who made the entire show worth watching and that was Amy Winehouse. DAMN that girl can blow. I don’t know what it is about her perhaps her quirky moves or her big bouffant hairstyle but that girl draws you in and makes you want more. Amy ended up winning five awards for Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Album, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Pop Vocal Performance. I say she deserved them hands down. Sure she is troubled and finally said yes yes yes to rehab but she still RAWKED it tonight!

Lipstick Jungle is no Sex in the City

The new show Lipstick Jungle, from the famed author Candace Bushnell who brought us Sex in the City, premiered this past Thursday on NBC. I was very excited about it too bad my excitement was short lived. I will not say it was a complete disappointment but it was not nearly as good as I had hoped it would be. Usually the pilot episode of a show tells me right off hit or miss but this one was rather lukewarm. My first thought about this show was that it was a mediocre knock off of Cashmere Mafia which comes on ABC and is so brilliant. The shows are very similar in that they are about strong women making things happen in New York City but the similarities end there. Lipstick Jungle set a mood of struggle and failure for the characters right from the first scene and while that might be good for some shows I feel the audience was expecting a more triumphant resilience from the characters. Brooke Shields who plays movie exec Wendy was a wash out. She did not have her usual Brooke flair of making us want to see more and I was truly bored with her character and her look. Kim Raver who plays Niko the editor of a fashion magazine is stunning to look at and while I am not thrilled with her story line yet I see a lot of potential. All I have to say about Kim Raver is watch out Kim Cattrall! Our third main character is Victory played by Lindsay Price. Victory is a struggling fashion designer which is acceptable but what makes her story line pop is the budding romance between her and a zillionaire played by Andrew McCarthy. These two characters and their brief but entertaining story line was by far the best part of this show. I will watch again for no other reason but these two characters have me intrigued. I found myself wanting more of the romance aspect of this show and less of the dreary struggles of Wendy and Niko with the inevitable marriage and career dilemmas. The truth is while I enjoy a drama we live in a world with enough drama and at the end of the night I want to sit down and be entertained and while this show did that to an extent it better shape up or it is off the viewing list. Thursday nights are prime time watching and if and when this writers strike ever comes to an end Lipstick Jungle will definitely not make the cut!